Life's Cycles

On my right arm, I have a tattoo depicting a wave with a smaller wave approaching beneath it, symbolizing the idea that eventually, everything comes full circle. I got this tattoo in 2015, a year marked by my father’s passing.

When I was just five, I witnessed a massive wave engulf my father while we were at a beach in Tahiti. The feeling of dread that washed over me was overwhelming, yet he surprised me by resurfacing not far from the shore. That rush of relief was something I never forgot, but it eluded me until 2015 when I lost him. My tattoo serves as a reminder that despite the sorrow and the unbearable pain, there will come a time when I will see him again, or perhaps, I will become numb to all feelings.

Understanding Life's Fragility

Reflecting on a near-death experience from my childhood, I recall being around eight years old during a piano lesson when my body suddenly ceased to function. Rushed to the hospital, it was discovered that I had a heart problem. After spending my first night in the ICU, I woke to the haunting sound of a mother’s wailing for her lost child. The grief was palpable, and even at a young age, I understood that life was fragile and unpredictable.

This early brush with mortality transformed my perception of existence. I transitioned from childhood innocence to a sobering understanding of life’s limits in just one night. I remember thinking my parents were blissfully unaware of this harsh reality, and I felt it was my duty to shield them from such knowledge.

My Father: A Legacy of Love

My father passed away just two weeks after my parents celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary. While I had an inkling of what was to come, I held onto hope that he would defy the odds against metastatic cancer. When he received his diagnosis, he faced it with remarkable calmness, having accomplished all he set out to do for his family.

I once asked him what my life’s mission was, and he simply told me to look after my mother and to find happiness. Although it sounded simple, it required a deep introspection on my part. In his final days, surrounded by love and laughter, my father faced the end without fear, leaving this world enveloped in warmth.

My Mother: A Shared Journey

After my father's passing, my mother and I spent another seven years together, adapting to life without him and establishing a new routine. We always joked about her outliving me, especially when she was diagnosed with a serious heart condition. Our bond deepened, and we found solace in humor.

Recognizing that we had limited time left, we decided to chase our dreams in Hollywood. Despite my plans for the future, my mother’s agreement to this adventure hinted at her own awareness of her time. We enjoyed a beautiful year filled with memories and adventures, culminating in her final film outing to “No Time to Die,” where she experienced Daniel Craig’s charm on the big screen.

When the time came for her to say goodbye, I held her hand and played her favorite song, ensuring she transitioned peacefully.

A Promise to Remember

Throughout my life, I had vowed to spare my parents the anguish of death. I believed I would leave this world before them, and I promised to comfort them with words of reassurance at that moment. Although things didn’t unfold as I had envisioned, I believe I provided them with a good farewell, surrounded by love and devoid of pain. Professor Galloway has spoken about how the company we keep at the end of our lives is a testament to our existence. My parents had me by their side, and I hope that was sufficient.

Ultimately, I learned that life is not about having all the answers. They lived fulfilling lives, perhaps with a deeper understanding of their fate than I ever realized. That second wave of life still awaits me, and I trust that I can navigate it with the same grace and courage my parents embodied.